The Comb Over

Today's topic...the comb over. This may be one of the most offensive hair styles I have ever had to witness, which can't be understated because it's competing against the 90s bowl cut, the mullet, and the Bieber cut just to name a few. Of course the proper comb over cannot be achieved by just anyone, you must reach a certain age AND a certain level of dementia to achieve it. I honestly do not know what thought process takes place in a man's brain to make him think that it either looks good or that he is really fooling anyone into thinking he still has a good head of hair on him.

Anyway, the purpose of this post is to provide some recommendations for anyone reading this who is donning this beast. As I've thought about it there aren't many practical solutions but I have come up with a few. Obviously there's the new-fangled hair replacement surgeries but I am weary to recommend this option because honesty I have an inclination that in 10-20 years they will come out with studies showing a link between these surgeries and some weird scalp cancer. This only leaves two good options as I see it:

1. Get a razor and shave the head. Seriously, in your business, social, and personal lives you will gain much more respect from everyone around you, including your wife and children...maybe even your dog.

2. Get some spray paint, whichever color that most closely resembles the color of your hair, use some tape to mask off a nice, full head of hair, and channel your inner Picasso. I know as you read this right now you're thinking that this idea is asinine, but in all truthfulness I think most people would rather deal with a painted head that the dreadful comb over. At least the paint won't blow in a slight breeze and draw the other person's attention away from the conversation. You can think of yourself as a Ken doll.

Now that I've gotten this off of my chest, and hopefully provided some sound advice for the good of all of mankind I would like to add one last request for those fellows that are members of the AARP: Keep the ear and nose hair trimmed too!